so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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