brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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