love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
