She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize