Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
