you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
