The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
