she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
