it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
