he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
