we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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