First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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