woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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