she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
