Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
