we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
sex in a hospital.. check
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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