The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You took a bar mat shot.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
