If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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