Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
