i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
