Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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