I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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