He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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