im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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