My room smells like vodka and shame
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize