one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
