hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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