3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
