Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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