theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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