when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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