I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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