Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
