sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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