I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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