what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize