Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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