TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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