i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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