it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
