So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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