after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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