Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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