If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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