why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
