I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
