Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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