I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
