We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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