im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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