My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
