i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
