please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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