I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
