bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Still dying that you shit outside
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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