I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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