her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
