I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
