nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So vagazzling was a success
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize