Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize