You're my little dorito
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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