Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
