I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
